Monday, February 12, 2007

SiF #54 - How Do We Make Sex Positive Decisions?

SiF 54
Sex is Fun! Is sponsored by

How Do We Make Sex Positive Decisions?

Let’s explore how we form the ethics of our sex positive community. As a counter culture evolves, how does it set its own standards for ethical behavior? On today’s show we will discuss who makes the rules, how the decisions get made, and we’ll have a little debate of our own.

Things to talk about:

Leather Leadership Conference
What is it?
(Taken from
The Leather Leadership Conference is an organization dedicated to strengthening the SM/Leather/Fetish community through the development of the leadership skills of community members and fostering a greater sense of connection between and within community groups.

The LLC hosts annual conferences where attendees may share their knowledge and experience with one another, fostering a greater sense of unity and understanding within the community as a whole.

Minneapolis is hosting LL this year on April 20-22, in its eleventh annual conference.

How do decisions get made?
Sex positive culture is a movement that responds to our current political climate of sex negativity. In a world of different attitudes toward sex, that it is sinful, that it is sacred, that it is for procreation only; sex positive culture maintains that sexuality is a positive force and should be embraced as such. But that is a wide position and doesn’t always help us make the day to day decisions about our sex lives that we need to make.

Are there rules or guidelines we can use to help us make ethical decisions?
1. MMPI, good or bad standard? (Kidder talked a bit about this and I would love to hear more)
2. Safe, Sane, and Consensual-what does that really mean?

Actual real life problems for us to discuss
(I would be more than willing to act as moderator between you two and also act as devil’s advocate if you happen to hold the same opinions.)

How far is too far in BDSM? For people who enjoy giving or getting pain where should the line be drawn?

At eighteen you are an adult and capable of making your own decisions. How do we feel about an eighteen year old girl dating a thirty five year old man? How about an eighteen year old boy dating a 35 yr old woman? 18yr old man/18yr old man? 18yr old woman/18 yr old woman?

Who gets to make the rules?
I think this is a nice topic to end on because it brings up two things.
1. In small communities like this one, YOU get to make the rules. This is an area in our lives where we can really see our opinions making a difference. This is not like voting for president where it can feel like our ballot gets swallowed into the huge mass of vote’s country wide. These are decisions, good or bad, that will affect those near and dear to us.

2. Our community can disagree about things. We don’t always have to reach one unified conclusion. What is important is that we have good decision making skills. In other words, go to Leather Leadership Conference!

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